You have heard the saying, "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth."  In fact, it comes from a biblical passage from part of the Sermon on the Mount, when Jesus of Nazareth urges his followers to turn the other cheek when confronted by violence:

 

    "You have heard that it was said, 'an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.'  But I say to you, do not resist an evildoer.  If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."  Matthew  5:38-39

 

    But the Easter Bunny at a Fort Myers Mall in Florida, last week was obviously not familiar with this law, when he removed his head and hit a customer over the head with his rabid, er - rabbit ears.  It seems the customer had waited in line to have a photo taken with the bunny and when the rabbit's wife - that would be - Mrs. Rabbit, told her she was closing the line, the customer punched her in the chest.

 

    Easter Bunny, who had been in costume for over eight hours and had to go potty, came to the aid of Mrs. Rabbit, and walloped the customer over the head with his head.  The mall executives offered their profound apologies to witnessing families with children, who probably couldn't wait to send their photo to grandpa and mima, saying: "we had an egg-citing day today. How do you like my dress?  I was lucky Easter Bunny did not throw up on it as he said he would when the police came to take him away in handcuffs.  Here's a photo from Dad's cell phone of Bunny without his ears and his hands behind his back."

 

    I can just see that police report taken by Officer Larry Hawk:   

"Nature of complaint?  Who did you say hit you?  An Easter Bunny?  Why? Because he was hot in his costume and had to go potty.  I see.  Are you sure it was not a pink rabbit?  How many drinks did you have?  None, but you wanted that photo for grandpa and grandmamma, and you had paid for it in advance, but Bunny would not cooperate, so when you slugged Mrs. Rabbit, Easter Bunny took off his head and walloped you with it.  Ma'am this would be something for a judge to decide, as I am not sure whether it comes under civil or criminal law.  You paid for the photo - so that would be contract law; that's civil.  You got hit in your hair - so that is assault with a... let's see... a pair of ears.  Yep, I think that could be a felony.  We don't normally handle hare behavior, maybe that's something for the Humane Society.  I'll copy them. We usually just throw a couple of drunks in the tank, but so far none of them have arrived dressed in rabbit suits.  Would you please sign on the spotted line - I mean, dotted line.  "I hate to see the Christmas photo reports!"

 

    The judge, and I am hoping he has a sense of humor, will have to rely on local assault and battery ordinances; I am not sure whether a hare hitting your hair is covered under Florida law, but if not, he could always make his decision based on "lex talionis in Christianity or Judaism."  After all, Easter and Passover are religious holidays.

 

    Most Christian scholars have agreed that this tenet from the Old Testament encourages excessive vengeance rather than attempting to limit it.  Even Mahatma Gandhi stated that if we followed this dogma the whole world would soon be blind and toothless.

 

    The oral law of Judaism holds that this verse cannot be interpreted as mandating exact physical retribution.  The rabbis of the Talmud ask, "How can a person be certain that the punishment inflicted is definitely no worse than that initial injury?"  It should be noted that Judaism, while not allowing physical retribution for torts, does contain provisions for corporeal punishment to be carried out for certain crimes by civil entities.

 

    If I were the judge in this case, I would make Easter Bunny go potty, force him to apologize to the customer and have the photo made with the assailant's child, and make the shopping mall install air conditioners in bunny suits.

 

    If we cannot teach our children that we all must get along, at least during holidays, how on earth can we expect our politicians to agree?  They rolled Easter eggs once too; and some of them are still hunting for them.

 

    Isn't there a moral in this story somewhere?

 

    

Alinka Zyrmont