Only in America! Or should I say, Boca Raton! Some enterprising person saw a business opportunity for dog entertainment, and charges $150 per hour as a dog behaviorist and will train the dogs according to their personalities. Her training techniques are based on child-development psychology, wolf and dog behavior. And if that is not all, she helps Poodles build "self-esteem." If mine gets any more self-esteem he will be running this household and I'll not be allowed to sit on the white sofas. Either Rudy can read clocks or intuitively knows when it is seven o'clock in the evening, because he barks to inform me that it is time to go to bed. If I am busy he will make a nuisance of himself until I put him to bed; then I sneak quietly back to my computer because I work best at night, and if I am singing, I will hear this canine accompaniment coming from the bedroom. When I go back and tell him: "... that's enough!" He pouts, then sends Zuzi to disturb me. She takes orders from him, but actually my husband is top dog! It is amazing how well trained they all have me.

Cage-free kennels are in vogue these days. We even have a Butterfly World up the road from our house where butterflies are free and the tourists walk around inside the huge cage, while the butterflies fly around and sit on top of your head. I don't think I'd like that at the regular zoo. Can't imagine a live raccoon sitting on top of my head. Cats like to sit anywhere, including on your clean clothes, inside your suitcase when packing and your favorite chair. I once had a friend sit on top of my Siamese cat and I don't know who got the bigger fright! Cats pretend to be disinterested in your activities, but take an extended trip, or move some furniture around the house, and be prepared for their punishment! My brother's cat, Tasha, used to swipe me across the head when I walked by the china cabinet with a dog in my arms. It was specifically annoying when I was wearing a wig!

My mother played Bridge in Texas with a friend who had a parrot who would repeat: "...wach y'all doin'? Playin' kkards?" When it wouldn't hush, my Mom would respond: "... we are playing Bridge. Would you let us concentrate!" Then the bird would say in a British accent: "...what you all doing playing Bridge concentrated?"

Next someone will be opening a cat house - er - kitty corner - or whatever! I understand that permits were harder to obtain than the strip clubs. A friend of mine raises wild cats, they are interesting to look at, but I don't trust them. One hates me and every time I pet this pesky Felis domestica, it scratches me. Dogs would be mortified if they hurt you.

They say dogs are "man's best friend," but I think that is a sexist statement, so I will add women's too. How many women have I talked to lately who have said, "... the more men I meet here, the more I like my dog better." In a Palm Beach divorce a couple spent $50,000 fighting over visitation rights to their Poodle. Another eccentricity of Palm Beach, was the case of a woman who wanted to be buried with her dog; the problem made headlines because the dog was not yet dead. She was. So the judge ruled the dog was to be put to sleep and they both got buried together peacefully, but the animal rights group made a commotion and so did the owners of the cemetery.

I always have had Poodles because they are so easy to travel with and so trainable. They don't shed, they are clean and good guard dogs. Mine barks when the grass grows. Rudolph Valentino likes to sing at parties so Tzu-lin dances for attention. She gets up on her little back paws and waves the front ones so that I have to pick her up; then I end up with ten pounds of dog in each arm. Try that while singing, 'How Much is That Doggie In the Window.'

Doris Day left Hollywood and opened a dog hotel in northern California that was dog friendly and only recently have Americans been able to take their dogs into respectable hotels. AAA automobile club keeps a list of motels which permit you to bring your dog for a small fee.

I never had a Shih Tzu before and they are an adorable breed; fiercely loyal. Mine has a Chinese name because this breed originated in Tibet, which was under the suzerainty of China, and they were kept as sacred dogs, given to the emperors of China during the Manchu Dynasty in the 17th century while carefully attended by court eunuchs. One of the later rulers, the Empress Dowager, supervised the breeding of these "little lion dogs," but with her death in 1908 nobody seems to know what happened to this breed. Some think they were a cross between the Tibetan Apso and Pekingese.

The Shih Tzu came west to Britain in 1928. The wife of the Danish minister to China saw some dogs which were to be burnt as part of a funeral ceremony and saved them. A puppy of hers was presented to Queen Elizabeth in 1930. After 1949 there were no more exports from China.

The Shih Tzu arrived in the United States in 1930, but by 1963 the kennel clubs only recorded 300 dogs. It was not until 1969 that they were permitted to be shown in the dog shows as a separate breed in the toy group.

I recently rescued a very abused Shih Tzu and thought I had plenty of room for three dogs. But my friend Pat, fell in love with her, named her "Holly" for Christmas, and is now part of her menagerie. When Pat travels I am in charge of the social functions of her two cats, two dogs, one bird that pecks, and a fish which is no trouble at all. When I travel, my dogs go over to Pat's house and she takes care of the little zoo.

I told the driver of the van, that the day he takes the pooches on a picnic near the lake to let them slide on the water plastic, and serves them Russian Beluga caviar to call me. I have never been to a dog party before and I would bring Rudy and Zuzi, they could have fun socializing while I enjoyed the caviar.

Swimfully yours,

Alinka